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Thank you for taking the time to read our story. We have been on this path for seven years now, with multiple reoccurent losses.
I wish I could have met my husband sooner, to love him longer and to make this journey easier for us both. However, Gods timing is always perfect. I remember the call just months after starting to date "you have cervical cancer, please call to schedule surgery." I was crushed! I remember coming home and bawling and telling Ryan how unfair it was that I finally found the person I'd been searching for to have a family with and this was the cards we were dealt. Ryan never waivered in his Faith and has always told me that God has a plan and that in one way or another we will "grow" our family. God knew my heart needed a spouse with a steadfast and firm faith and he provided that in Ryan and so much more. I am so thankful for a spouse who is truly my partner in all things big and small. Someone who can pray for and with me when words fail me.
Though our journey has been filled with highs and lows, the one constant has been the love of our Father. This is not a journey we would wish on any family but for every obstacle there has been a blessing to follow. We have grown in our faith and love for one another. We are thankful for the love of our "tribe" and those surrounding us. We couldn't do this without the love and support of our family and friends.
We have completed three IVF cycles. Recently we got the call, we didn't anticipate, letting us know that two little embryos, two little lives my husband and I had created, we're not going to meet us this side of Heaven. The babies we wanted to love and cherish every moment of their lives were no longer with us. We had been praying and trusting God to bring these babies safely into our arms. But in His wisdom, He called them to Himself instead. Just like the several before them, this one hit hard for many personal reasons.
Ryan and I are blessed to have made these sweet little miracles in perfect love and someday we will meet them. They are being held in perfect love. They will never know the sting of a scratched knee or hurtful word spoken, they will only know His goodness (that's a beautiful thing). Plus I'm sure my Dad is loving each miracle and keeping them close for me.
If it is your first loss or in our case eight, none get easier... but you still "Hope" our marriage verse we choose together was Hebrews 16:9 "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." there was a reason He gave us that verse than to carry us now. I made Christmas ornaments for all of our wedding attendees as favors, the design I used was also used in the logo for our CausePage.
I could talk about the countless injections, surgeries, mishaps and all the other bumps along the road (too many to count). But I'd rather reflect on the incredible medical team we've been blessed with, families met and prayed with along the way, and the fact we serve a Big, Big God, one who can do what only He can! We have a plan moving forward for our last little embryo... we hope this little embryo can and will be our little miracle. We are doing an ERA/ALICE/EMMA in the coming weeks... all specialized tests to help us determine next steps.
Following those results we will do a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) of our last little miracle made. We hope that this one will stick!!!
We have also been doing foster care classes and are close to being fully licensed to foster to adopt. We have a heart for children and we are trusting God to provide that special little one to our family.
No matter what path we are led to, they all come with financial hardship. We've already spent our childs college fund just trying to have them. It's pretty sad how incredibly expensive this process is from medications, appointments, surgeries, transfers and unexplained bumps along the road. Its not dollars it's thousands of dollars. Our medical system is so broken as is the pharmaceutical world (those are conversations that should be happening at a legislative level).
This is so out of the norm for me but if being vulnerable about being 1:8 can help another family know that they are not alone... It's worth it!
Thanks for supporting us on our journey to make a little Hunter.
-Stephanie & Ryan